Being Vulnerable

Just the thought of this interrupts all of the awkward butterflies in my stomach. I'm not the typical person to bear to initially bear my soul with strangers. I'd rather stand comfortably behind my pretty and perfectly positioned mask. Though easier, putting up these barriers can damage our spiritual growth. How? Because you must have faith in order to trust. But trusting is hard, super hard. Being super honest, exposes your soul and it simply feels weird.

If you are anything like me, you have been betrayed, you have trust issues and have been hurt by people you thought cared about you. My betrayal didn't start with my friends, but family. Of course the enemy would use one of the things I hold so dear to my heart. I really stood out in my family as a kid, I was different. I would come up with this crazy ideas or stories and act hem out with my Barbie dolls I really loved Jesus and wanted to really live my life for Him, even at a young age. People my age didn't understand it, m relatives would compare their children to me, therefore making their children jealous, some of their were even jealous. They think I don't know. but every time they would ostracize me from group activities, I would hide in my grandmother's room watching nickelodeons Zoey 101, imagining they were my friends instead. Did I mention I grew up in an urban area of Philadelphia, it wasn't a "bad" neighborhood, but it was still vibrant. Most of the interest of my peers seemed pointless to me. I'd try to relate, but I'd stick out like a daisy among stones, very obvious difference. I even went through a phase where I tried to act bad, it was high school, and it was an emotional and spiritual flop.

I'm so grateful that God called me back to Him when I was in college. I went to Eastern university. I really appreciated the social and Spiritual journey than academic, my new friends and renewed walk with God left a greater impression.

Now I'm here. This would typically be an entry I would put in a new diary, but I guess. this is my attempt at being vulnerable. My Life wasn't too bad, but it wasn't exactly peaches and cream either. There is more to my story that I will gladly share according to the appropriate time, but for now I will share this key thing I learned through this process, forgiveness and learning to be valunerable with God.

Now I'm here. This would typically be an entry I would put in a new diary, but I guess. this is my attempt at being vulnerable. My Life wasn't too bad, but it wasn't exactly peaches and cream either. There is more to my story that I will gladly share according to the appropriate time, but for now I will share this key thing I learned through this process, forgiveness and learning to be vulnerable with God.

I learned tp be vulnerable with God during my quiet time, or as I like to call it, my quality time. I would pray about literally anything, it would either be in my journal or physically praying. quality time helped me to take my walk with God serious. God speaks! He cares! He listens. In life, we all want to be heard, we want to be accepted, yet we rarely see this happen in our lives. Well I've come to tell you that God sees you and he cares for you!

1 Peter 5:7 - Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.

Psalms 62:8 - Trust in him at all times; [ye] people, pour out your heart before him: God [is] a refuge for us. Selah.

God already knows all of your inner thoughts, He already knows how you feel, even before you mention it, yet he wants you to come to him. That is the whole point of having a relationship with Him.

Don't be so caught up in the routine of church or Christian lifestyle that you don't authentically be yourself with God, I encourage you to be vulnerable with God. Talk to Him as if he is the loving father He is!